Too much “I message”
April 2nd, 2010 | 
Author: I attended a wonderful networking event last night hosted by Reid and Riege law firm. R&R partner, Carol Felicetta is the chair of the firm’s Women’s Alliance program, a fantastic marketing initiative to forge stronger relationships with women clients, referral partners and prospects. I applaud their marketing leadership!
In the past, R&R Women’s Alliance has brought in motivational speakers and hosted golf-for-non-golfer events. This time the event was organized around a Speed Networking exercise. Each guest was given a card identifying four tables that they would visit. Each table had 8 women sitting around it and each woman had 2 minutes to introduce herself to the others. The bell would ring when your 2 minutes was up and the next woman would give her introduction. After all 8 women had made their introductions, the group would split up and rotate to a new assigned table.
The purpose of the speed networking exercise is to make multiple new connections in a short amount of time and to practice and get more comfortable giving your elevator pitch. If you haven’t experience speed networking yet, look for opportunities to do so.
In addition to meeting new motivated women business leaders, I learned a valuable lesson. Be careful not to use too many “I message” when you introduce yourself. You might even count how many times you use it in a 2-minute introduction. For example, how many times do you find yourself starting a sentence with…
- I am…
- I do….
- I choose to only work with…
- I am married to …
- I am certified….
- I am expert in…
- I drive…
- I work for…
- I..
- I…
Too much I!
Now the I-message is a powerful interpersonal communication tool. It allows you to take ownership of your feelings and experience and to express yourself without casting blaming or triggering other people. But when you use too much I-messaging in the context of networking, you project the image of being too self-absorbed and too focused on self. You lose out on the opportunity to recreate relevance and relateability with the people that you are networking with.
I drove home from the event reminding myself to keep my EYES on the road, and to keep my own I-messages in check. After all, the purpose of networking is relationship building, not the glorification of I.
photo credit: Leo Reynolds as featured on www.flickr.com
2 Responses to “Too much “I message””
Perfect your pitch and start getting greater results from your networking today.
Download a digital copy now for only $9.99
Download a digital copy now for only $9.99.
Kathy,
I think that is great advise. How would you approach it differently? One woman opened up her introduction by telling a story about how a woman let her husband handle all her finances and then died suddently. At the end of the story she said ” this is what i do.. I clean up the pieces”. It was very powerful and stood out amongst the others. Any other suggestions?
I believe that the story that you referenced is a beautiful solution and approach and solves the “too much I-message” problem. Your friend shared her value proposition via a client story – a wonderful indirect way of having people understand what you do and what you could potentially do for them.
Perhaps this is what makes networking so interesting. It’s people meeting people. Let’s face it, not all people mesh well together. Our job as motivated networkers is to try to bridge the gaps that exist between us, find common ground, understand and appreciate each other (and our differences) so that a mutually beneficial relationship can be built over time. Thanks Kathie for sharing your experience and for gently challenging me to offer a solution, not just the problem. All the best to you! Kathy McAfee