I attended a wonderful networking event last night hosted by Reid and Riege law firm. R&R partner, Carol Felicetta is the chair of the firm’s Women’s Alliance program, a fantastic marketing initiative to forge stronger relationships with women clients, referral partners and prospects. I applaud their marketing leadership!

In the past, R&R Women’s Alliance has brought in motivational speakers and  hosted golf-for-non-golfer events. This time the event was organized around a Speed Networking exercise. Each guest was given a card identifying four tables that they would visit. Each table had 8 women sitting around it and each woman had 2 minutes to introduce herself to the others. The bell would ring when your 2 minutes was up and the next woman would give her introduction. After all 8 women had made their introductions, the group would split up and rotate to a new assigned table.

The purpose of the speed networking exercise is to make multiple new connections in a short amount of time and to practice and get more comfortable giving your elevator pitch. If you haven’t experience speed networking yet, look for opportunities to do so.

In addition to meeting new motivated women business leaders, I learned a valuable lesson. Be careful not to use too many “I message” when you introduce yourself. You might even count how many times you use it in a 2-minute introduction. For example, how many times do you find yourself starting a sentence with…

• I am…
• I do….
• I choose to only work with…
• I am married to …
• I am certified….
• I am expert in…
• I drive…
• I work for…
• I..
• I…

Too much I!

Now the I-message is a powerful interpersonal communication tool. It allows you to take ownership of your feelings and experience and to express yourself without casting blaming or triggering other people. But when you use too much I-messaging in the context of networking, you project the image of being too self-absorbed and too focused on self. You lose out on the opportunity to recreate relevance and relateability with the people that you are networking with.

I drove home from the event reminding myself to keep my EYES on the road, and to keep my own I-messages in check. After all, the purpose of networking is relationship building, not the glorification of I.

photo credit: Leo Reynolds as featured on www.flickr.com

Today I read an blog post by Karen Burns, author of The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Carer Advice You Can Actually Use, about the 50 Worst of the Worst (and most common) Job Interview Mistakes.

Some of the mistakes are pretty obvious, some are shocking (would anyone actually think about lighting up a cigarette in an interview???)  Other mistakes were more modern, like forgetting to remove your Bluetooth earpiece. No, this is not an acceptable piece of jewelry nor is it a modern accessory. You look pretty foolish when you wear it on an interview (or in the grocery store). It shouts “Look at me.  I’m important. I’m cool.”

My motivation of re-posting this insightful article is to ask you to read through this  list of the worst of the worst mistakes with an eye towards networking and relationship building. Some of these same mistakes occur when we network with other people.

These unconscious behaviors and negative actions can put a real damper on the conversation and can ruin any first impression that you hope to make. The results: it is unlikely that you will develop a long-term, mutually-beneficial relationship with the person you are networking with. More likely you will create the “yuck” response. That is the opposite of the law of attraction; it is the law of repulsion.

As your networking coach, let me point out a few of the bad habits and mistakes from Ms. Burns’ list that are also relevant to your success in networking and relationship building.

Don’t do these things while networking: Read the rest of this entry »

I recently read some scary business statistics that said with every month that you are not in communication, you lose 10% of your influence. It doesn’t take too long to drain your influence to zero. We work hard to plant seeds of opportunity, whether it’s for business development or new job opportunities. Yet our follow-up is where we trip up, and as a result we let the opportunity (and influence) slip away. You’ve heard the expression “Out of sight – out of mind? Perhaps the same is true that when you go out of touch, you go out of influence.

So why is it so difficult for people to integrate networking into the  daily routine? Why is follow-up such a burden and so hard to do as a regular discipline?

Redefining Networking

Many people get the “heebeegeebees” when they hear the word networking. Networking is essentially about building relationships – one person at a time. As social animals, we humans are pre-wired to build and live in relationship. Whether you are an introvert, an extrovert or have an interpersonal propensity, you already know how to network. You’ve been doing it since you were born. It’s called building relationships with other people over time.

Are you a reluctant networker?

Of course, not all of us are highly skilled or motivated to build more relationships through professional networking. Some people are reluctant networkers, preferring to stay home, stay in familiar circles, stay near their office cubicle where it is safe. (i.e., Your Comfort Zone)

Some people take a transactional approach to networking  (e.g., “What can you do for me?“, Will you hire me?“, “Will you buy this?“, “What leads do you have for me?“) and as a result get negative response from other people.

To be successful in networking, you must not only acquire the right skills (i.e., interpersonal and social skills, communication skills, follow-up skills), but you must have the right attitude. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s week #3 of the new decade, so how’s your follow-up been thus far? How’s the guilt list? You know, the incomplete promises of “I’ll get back to you on that” or “Let’s have coffee soon” or the thank you cards that you mean to send, but you never get around to it.

Remember, your fortune is in your follow-up. Your reputation is also in your follow-up.

The reality is that we all need a system to help us execute our follow-up. We need help to make acting on our intentions easy and fun (why shouldn’t it be?) When it comes to networking and building a robust professional network filled with people who know you and care about you and want to help you, YOU must take the initiative to follow-up regularly. If you think about someone today, send them a card. Why not do it now?

My secret weapon for staying in regular touch with the people in my network

Three years ago, I signed up for a on-line system called SendOutCards. I was introduced to it by D’vorah Lansky, a true marketing wizard, who has since become a good friend and business ally. I met D’vorah through Chris Amorosino, the incredibly talented copywriter who issues a terrific enewsletter called The 30-Second Writing Clinic. Ironically, how I discovered SendoutCards is in itself a networking success story. People helping people – that’s what networking is all about.

How do I use SendOutCards to “stay in shape” with my follow-up?

Quite simply, I send a heart-felt card EVERY DAY to someone that I think about. I do this first thing in the morning, before I jump on to email and get consumed. Sending out a heart-felt card daily makes me feel GOOD. Why? There is something magical about spreading APPRECIATION in this world. Practicing appreciation on a daily basis is not only good for business, it’s good for your health and well-being!

Prioritize your professional relationships and commit to staying in regular touch

We all have the best of intentions of staying in touch with the people in our lives, but somehow things get in the way. We get disorganized and “lazy” with our outreach, communication and follow-up. If you believe in the power of relationships and want to remain visible and valuable to the people in your personal and professional network, then I encourage you to find a system that allows you to stay in touch more easily. Your investment in follow-up, is an investment in your relationships, not to mention your results and reputation.

Need some help? Click through to learn about the T.H.E.R.A.P.Y. model for Motivated Networking Follow-up. Be sure to download the free 18-page workbook too!

Get motivated and take action to ensure your follow-up system works for you and the people that you care about!

Executive Presentation Coach & Professional Speaker
Independent Distributor for SendOutCards (#22406)
office (860) 408-0033; cell (860) 371-8801